Suicide, SelfHarm, & Secrets
by jayshawndala
Summary: Ulrich loses someone who loves him, breaks someones heart, but gains someone he loves. Someone takes their pain out on their body. Someone keeps secrets that could be better in the open.
1. Chapter 1

**Suicide, Self-Harm, & Secrets**

It was around midnight and Ulrich was having a terrible nightmare. The same one he'd been having for a week. Only this nightmare wasn't like usually nightmares, this actually happened

~_Flashback/Nightmare~_

_ It was about two in the morning when Ulrich received a text from his girlfriend. He thought it would be a casual "goodmorning(:' text like she usually sent, but she had sent him her suicide note this time. It read: "Dear Ulrich, you know I love you more than words can describe, and I know this may be hard for you to read, but I'm done. I give up on life. My parents keep fighting, my friends are slowly drifting away from me, my grades keep dropping. No matter how hard I try it's never good enough. Even with you, I try so hard to make you happy and be the one you love, but I can see you love someone else. I know you'll deny it, but ask Odd or Aelita. They see the way you look at her, just like I as well as everyone else do. You're the only one who doesn't see it. Don't come and look for me, by the time you find me I'll already be gone. Just promise me that you'll forget about me, not blame yourself for this, and be happy with her. Sincerely, Your Ex-Girlfriend."_

_ As soon as he finished reading the text, Ulrich sprinted out of his dorm towards her house. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him, but it wasn't fast enough. Ulrich knew he didn't return her feelings of love, but he just couldn't let someone take their own life. By the time he got to her house, she was dead. Ulrich found her in her room, sitting in a pool of blood. She had slit her wrists and bled to death. He immediately ran to her side and called 911. He couldn't help but cry uncontrollably, she was dead and it was his fault. He couldn't believe she'd do this to herself, she seemed to be so strong._

_ When the paramedics arrived, they couldn't save her. Ulrich didn't know what to do, so he ran. No destination in mind, he just ran as fast as he could.._


	2. Chapter 2

_ Ulrich suddenly stopped, looking around, he saw that he was outside of Yumi's house. Next thing he knows, Ulrich receive a text from Odd reading, "Where are you? What's going on?" he replied with a simple "Just went for a walk, everything's fine."_

_ 'Ulrich wouldn't leave in the middle of the night just to go for a walk. Something's up,' Odd thought aloud as he turned on the TV. Odd decided to turn to the news channel and the first thing he sees is a story about a teenager who committed suicide. He turned up the volume and he hears. "Alexandria Olson, age 15, committed suicide at approximately 2 o'clock this morning. The family refused to make any statements regarding this news."_

_ "Woah." Odd said aloud as he pulled out his cell phone and proceeded to text Jeremy and Aelita, telling them about Alexandria._

_ Ulrich made his way up to Yumi's balcony and knocked on the glass door. She must've already been awake because it wasn't long until he saw her open the door for him._

_ "Ulrich? What are you doing here? It's four in the morning." Yumi questioned him._

"_Yumi, I really need a friend right now." Ulrich told her. _

_She saw how distraught he looked, and motioned for Ulrich to come inside and sit on her bed beside her. _

"_Yumi, Alexandria killed herself earlier. She sent me a text right before she did." He pulled out his phone and handed it to her and said, "Here, read it." _

_Yumi took his phone and read the text, her face dropped, she couldn't believe what she had just read. "Ulrich, I'm so sorry. I can't believe she'd do something like that." she said with warm eyes. _

"_You know what the funny thing is Yumi? She always said she loved me more than words can describe, but I've never been able to honestly say the same about her. I felt like I needed to though just to make her happy, because of all the shit she was going through." Ulrich said as he put his head in his hands. _

_Yumi put her arm around him and rubbed his back as she said. "You're such a nice guy Ulrich, always trying to make people happy. But I guess you can't make everyone happy." she said with sad eyes. _

_It seemed like she was taking Juliet's suicide harder than he was. _

"_It's just important that you know it isn't your fault though, Ulrich." she said with a serious face. _

_She knew him too well, Ulrich always blamed himself for almost everything that went wrong. He looked at her and replied with a smile, "Yeah, I know, Yumes."_

_~End Flashback/Nightmare_


	3. Chapter 3

Ulrich sat up extremely fast in his bed, grabbed his phone and bolted out of his dorm room, "I can't believe I keep having this nightmare," he said quietly to himself.

It seemed like Alexandria committed suicide yesterday, when, in reality, it was only a week ago.

As Ulrich made his way out of Kadic Academy, He called Yumi. After a few rings she answers, "You have that nightmare again, Ulrich?"

Every night for the past week he's run to Yumi's house.

"Yeah, Yumes. Are you getting tired of me bothering you in the middle of the night?" He asked her.

"Ulrich," she says lightly, "You are never a bother."

"Thanks Yumi, for everything," Ulrich said sincerely.

"No problem, Ulrich. The door's open, just come right in when you get here. See ya then."

"See ya, Yumi."

It wasn't much longer until Ulrich arrived at Yumi's house. He climbed up to her balcony and went inside. He sees her at her desk writing something, but she puts it away as he approached her.

"Hey Ulrich, anything new happen in the nightmare?"

"No, but there's something I need to tell you," Ulrich said looking away.

"What is it, Ulrich?" She asks motioning for him to have a seat.

"Well, you see, ever since Alexandria's death, I've been getting texts from her parents and her brother, and they blame me for her suicide." Ulrich says trying to hold back tears. "They say they read her diary and she wrote about how she thought I loved another girl. She said the way I looked at her and how we interact just seemed like we belong together. So her parents keep telling me it's all my fault, and her brother tells me it should be me who's dead right now. I think that's why I keep having the nightmare every night." He finish finally letting a few tears fall.

Yumi moves and sits beside him, put her arms around him and pulls him into a tight hug. "Ulrich, you need to tell someone. Her parents don't have the right to do that. It's harassment."

"I know, Yumes. Imagine how they're going to treat me at her funeral later today."

"Speaking of that, you should try to get some sleep Ulrich." Yumi says as she yawned, "You can sleep here if you don't wanna walk all the way back to Kadic, since my parents are on vacation with Hiroki. You just need to sleep." she said laughing because she saw him yawn.

"Thanks Yumes," Ulrich says laughing lightly, "I appreciate everything."

"No problem," she says as she turns her lamp off.

It seemed to be only a few minutes before he noticed Yumi asleep in his arms. Trying not to disturb her, Ulrich pulled the blanket around them, and quickly drifted into a deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4.**

Ulrich wakes up and notices Yumi's laying in his arms looking up at him.

She starts smiling and says. "It's about time you woke up."

He smiles as he replies, "Hey, you could've woken me up earlier."

"Believe me, I tried. Someone just wouldn't wake up," she said as she winked and stuck her tongue out at him. She gets up and walks to her desk and tosses Ulrich some clothes.

"What are these for?" he asked her, slightly confused.

"Odd dropped them off about 10 minutes ago. They're for you to wear to Alexandria's funeral today."

"Oh," he replied, looking at the ground.

"Yeah..and I have a question," she says directing her gaze at Ulrich.

"Shoot." he says returning her gaze.

"Did you know that Alexandria was Jeremie's cousin?" she asked.

"WHAT?!" he exclaimed, standing up a bit too fast.

"Apparently her mom is Jeremie's aunt." Yumi replied as she pulled out a black dress from her closet.

"Great, I bet Jeremie hates me too. Just like everyone else does." Ulrich sighed heavily as he starred at the ground.

"Ulrich. no one hates you," she said giving him a reassuring smile when he looked up at her. "But anyway, I'm going to go take a quick shower. You can use it after me if you want," she said heading towards the door to her room.

"Alright, thanks Yumes." Ulrich said, laying back on her bed.

Yumi leaves the room and shortly after Ulrich hears the shower turn on.

Ulrich starts to think about last night and he remembered seeing Yumi writing something at her desk. He starts to get curious, but knows he shouldn't go looking through her stuff. It's never worked out when he sees other people do it, and he doesn't want to get on her bad side, especially not now. Ulrich just decides he'll ask her later.

While Ulrich's waiting for Yumi to get out of the shower, he begins to let his mind wander. After a few minutes, he fell asleep.

Yumi comes back in only to find Ulrich fast asleep on her bed. So she decides to stand on her bed and jump up and down, hoping to wake him up. To her surprise, he actually wakes up, after falling off her bed.

"Ow." Ulrich grumbles, "Did you really have to knock me off the bed?"

She chuckles lightly as she replies, "Yes. Now go take a shower."

Before he gets up, he notices Yumi's wearing a long sleeve black dress and decides to ask her, "Yumes, why do you always wear long sleeves? It's the summer time, that has got to be hot to wear."

She glances down with some sadness in her eyes as she quietly replies, "No reason."

Ulrich knows there's more to it, but he decides to shrug it off for now. He grabs his clothes and heads for the shower. As soon as he enters the bathroom he recieves a text from Odd reading, "Hey, you doing ok, buddy? I'm worried about you.." A small smile creeps onto Ulrich's lips as he replies, "Yeah, Odd. I'm doing just fine. Thanks for checking up on me. I'll text you in a few, I gotta grab a shower." Ulrich's smile widens as he receives another text from Odd saying, "Alright. Glad you're doing good. :) Can't wait to see you later mi caro."

Ulrich steps into the shower as he turns the water on, letting the hot water hit his body, stress leaving him. Well at least for a second. Ulrich can't help but wonder why Yumi always has long sleeves on though. So he finishes his shower, gets dressed, and goes into Yumi's room. Nothing could have prepared him for what he just walked in and saw. He stands there, mouth agape, and he can't believe what he's seeing. Ulrich just saw Yumi take a razor blade and dig it into her skin.

Yumi looks up and sees him staring at her, and she stands up abruptly, dropping her razor. "Ul-Ulrich, I didn't hear you come in.." she says looking away from him.

"Yumi, what the fuck are you doing?!" Ulrich exclaims as he runs over to her.

"It's nothing, Ulrich," she says hiding her arm from him.

"Yumi," Ulrich starts as he grabs her arm and lifts up her sleeve, "This isn't nothing." he says pointing to her arm. "How long has this been going on?" he asked almost in a whisper. Ulrich cannot understand why she or anyone else would ever do something like this.

"Well.." she says as she glances at him then looks away quickly, "I use to do it when my parents would always fight, but then I stopped for a while. But...Alexandria's suicide brought me back to the dark place in my mind.."

Yumi and Alexandria had instantly become best friends when she arrived at Kadic.

Ulrich can see the pain in Yumi's eyes. He doesn't know what to do, so he pulls her into a tight hug and whispers in her ear, "Yumi, you're better than this. Don't let it control you. It's important to realize though times are tough, time will heal it and life will be able to move on. Just promise me you'll stop doing this to yourself. Never do anything to harm yourself in any way. Promise me, Yumi." he said, pulling back to look her in the eyes.

She looks at him and hesitates for a second before replying, "I promise, Ulrich."

He gives her a slight smile and says, "Good, Yumi. You don't need to keep all your pain and sadness bottled up or take it out on yourself. You have four friends you can call or text anytime if you ever need someone to talk to. We'll always be here for you, Yumes."

Yumi smiles a bit and then she gets an overwhelming urge to kiss the boy standing in front of her. She leans towards him, about to plant her lips on his, but she's stopped by Ulrich stepping back and saying, "Yumes...You know this isn't right. I don't feel the same about you anymore, you know that. We're just good friends, Yumi."

She looks slightly disappointed, but not that surprised as she replies, "Yeah, Ulrich, I know. I just thought your feelings had changed."

Ever since Yumi had given Ulrich the 'let's just be friends' talk, he had definitely stopped wishing she was more than a friend. He had lost all of those feelings for her and he'd finally moved on.

"Well, Yumes, I have to go. I promised Odd I'd hang out with him before the funeral, since I've been kinda distant lately. See you at the funeral, okay?" Ulrich said as he walked towards the door to Yumi's room.

"Alright, Ulrich. See you then." Yumi replies, pulling out her phone to send Aelita a text saying, "Hey, wanna hang out before the funeral?" To which she gets a quick reply from Aelita reading, "Yeah, sure. I'll be at your house in about 15 minutes. :)"

As Ulrich was shutting Yumi's bedroom door behind him, he remembered he promised to text Odd. So he pulls out his phone and sends Odd a message reading, "Hey, I'm on my way back to Kadic, wanna go grab some lunch before the funeral? Just me and you?" Ulrich smiles as he gets a reply from Odd saying, "Sounds awesome. See ya soon.


End file.
